Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

Tired of Depression – so there!

Okay, today, I’m going to think positive!  🙂

I’m positive my family loves me.

I’m positive I have friends.

I’m positive I’m smart and have a great sense of humor.

I’m positive that I will publish a book this year.

I’m positive that tomorrow is the first day of spring, snowstorms be damned!  🙂

Anxiety and Parenting the Anxious Child

I am a total mental ball of anxiety right now b/c Robbie’s teacher left a msg on home answering machine that he has been having daily crying meltdowns, sometimes 2 – 3 a day, some lasting close to an hour.  He apparently doesn’t like working in groups. “It’s becoming disruptive.”   “Please let’s talk.” 

YES! Let’s! I haven’t been told about any of this before and school’s been in session for a month now?!

Shades of his anxiety-ridden, tear-filled kindergarten year are swarming around me. He hates group work? SO DO I!
He worries about being wrong?  SO DO I!

His teacher is probably a v. nice and concerned person. I met her briefly and i had that impression. It does not help me NOT be freaking out.

Gee. I wonder where my son gets it from.

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Apologies for my mercurial moods

Hi Everyone. I have been irascible of late, partly due to medication. But mostly due to the changing of the seasons and the darkening of the days. I really don’t like to be crabby, but it seems to have been 1 of my more dominant moods lately. If I have been crabby at you, I apologize. If I haven’t been crabby at you, then carry on as usual. 🙂

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Success Linked to Depression Linked to Eating

It seems that when I’m doing well in various parts of life, i.e. being successful, my stress and depression rise drastically and along with them my desire to eat everything in sight.

Consequently, I’m heavier than ever.

Damn it.

Blah

Blah. BLAH blah blah.

I have the furshlugginer Christmas spirit.

I can’t get it up this year.

I’m trying to concentrate on seeing the fun through my kids’ eyes.

Thought I forgot, didn’t you.

Nope!  Just had a very busy day emotionally.  I’m rather drained.

I am tired of dealing with anxiety and depression.

I am especially tired of people asking me why I can’t just snap out of the depression, or think in a different way until the depression goes away.  They tell me to stop using depression as an excuse.

You know what, “friends?”  All that does, people, is make me MORE anxious and depressed as I sit and worry and stew about what you’ve said.

I don’t THINK I use the depression as an excuse.  But do I?  And my anxiety and panic attacks?  Are they excuses too?

My meds don’t help like I personally think they should, and there are a bunch of other issues I need to address.  I did make an appointment with my doctor.  Unfortunately, she isn’t available until Nov 22.  But I have made the call, at least.

I’m also going to a presentation at my clinic in a week and a half.  It is on Bariatric Surgery.  We shall see where that leads.

Back to writing my Samhain Drabble …  thanks for listening, folks.

Hoo boy

After getting my new story and new chapter posted yesterday, we were  hanging out at the neighbors’ last night playing cards, eating barbequed pork, and drinking cider.  I haven’t had alcohol in 5 or 6 weeks so I was feeling mighty fine after a while.  Mellow.  But, not getting to sleep until 3 a.m. can kind of throw you off your stride.    (my son didn’t fall asleep until 3 a.m. even though we put him to bed at midnight.)

So I’ve had a pretty non-productive day today.   I’m weepy this evening because of that, feeling unaccomplished.  Jeez.  I’m my own worst enemy.

Weepy because I also feel like a shitty friend – high-maintenance and clingy and immature and full of neuroses.  I can’t stand feeling this way about myself, so I withdraw from people, or I lash out at them when they don’t deserve it, which then makes me feel like a cold-hearted arsehole.

Fecking feckity feck.  I’m going to blame this on hormones and go to bed.   I hate depression.

What I need is a good, funny movie to watch.

Maybe I’ll write a REALLY funny fanfic, for the Deflowering Draco and/or the Couples Remix challenges that I’m participating in.  Humor helps.  Laughter IS the best medicine.